A Modest Proposal Redux

“Guns don’t kill people

People Kill people”

How many times have I heard that mantra from opponents of any sort of gun control. These same guardians of our rights cite the second amendment:

“A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”

I used to argue that the constitution was meant to grow with the times hence the ability to create amendments. We don’t have a standing militia. We now have a standing army, standing navy, and standing air force (which the founding fathers could not have imagined). I don’t think having me as part of a standing militia would be a good idea. First, they would have to change the term “Minute Men” to “Hour Men,” or even “Century Men.” Secondly, if we were invaded by a foreign power strong enough to have the audacity to land troops on American soil, I don’t think I would stand a chance against highly trained soldiers or against missiles, no matter what weapon I was brandishing.

Thirdly, the word “infringed” in the amendment does not mean we cannot have laws governing what kind of arms.

In my wrong thinking days I believed that the Constitution was meant to grow as opposed to the strict constructionists or strict interpreters of the Constitution who believed everything should stay the same as in 1791 when the second amendment was ratified. I mean, the Founding Fathers recognized the future need for change by providing for amendments in the first place. So, again in my wrong thinking days, I thought why couldn’t we amend the amendment? We could also satisfy the strict interpreters by amending the second amendment to “bear arms but only muskets.” This would appease those stuck in 1791. A crack British infantryman could load and shoot a musket 5 times in one minute, and fire at a range of fifty to seventy five yards. Not quite up to the firepower of an AK-47, but, hey, I thought, you can’t be anchored to the thinking of colonial America and expect modern weaponry.

“Guns don’t kill people

People Kill people”

I also used to argue that one reason why America seems to want to return to the lawless climate of Deadwood in the 1870’s was American exceptionalism. We seem to possess this narrow-minded view that we cannot learn from other nations. An example: In 1996 an Australian man entered a café in Port Arthur, Tasmania and killed 35 people and wounded 23 more. This spurned Australia’s citizens to initiate stronger gun control laws. “the Australian government ‘banned automatic and semiautomatic firearms, adopted new licensing requirements, established a national firearms registry, and instituted a 28-day waiting period for gun purchases. It also bought and destroyed more than 600,000 civilian-owned firearms, in a scheme that cost half a billion dollars and was funded by raising taxes.’ The entire overhaul, Friedman pointed out, took just months to implement.

The number of mass shootings in Australia—defined as incidents in which a gunman killed five or more people other than himself, which is notably a higher casualty count than is generally applied for tallying mass shootings in the U.S.—dropped from 13 in the 18-year period before 1996 to zero after the Port Arthur massacre. Between 1995 and 2006, gun-related homicides and suicides in the country dropped by 59 percent and 65 percent, respectively, though these declines appear to have since leveled off. Two academics who have studied the impact of the reform initiative estimate that the gun-buyback program saves at least 200 lives each year, according to The New York Times.”

There were originally Australians opposed to any gun control, but the results spoke for themselves. As one gun control supporter argued: ‘We register cars. We register boats.’ But this time we added ‘We even register dogs. So what’s the problem in registering guns?’” https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2017/10/australia-gun-control/541710/

And we register ice cream trucks. A number of years ago ice cream trucks were virtually banned in an American city because a child was harmed.

Injury to Child Leaving Ice-Cream Truck Did Not Result from Dangerous Condition or Nuisance Created by California City

When she ran across the street after buying ice cream from an ice-cream truck, Kaila Pekarek was hit by a van and injured. Kaila and her sister sued the driver of the ice- cream truck, the driver of the vehicle that hit Kaila, and the City of San Diego (city). The plaintiffs claimed the city maintained its street in a “dangerous condition” and created a “nuisance” by allowing ice-cream trucks to operate on city streets. The Superior Court granted the city’s motion for summary judgment. Acting on the plaintiffs’ appeal, the Court of Appeal affirmed

http://www.usroads.com/journals/rilj/9708/ri970802.htm

And Americans are not the only ones who recognize the potential harm in ice cream trucking.

In Ireland “A government politician has called for ice-cream vans to be regulated.

Fine Gael senator Catherine Noone today warned that the “persistent use of chimes” of ice cream vans represent an “aggressive form of selling”.

Ms Noone said she has been contacted by parents who claim ice cream vans visit their estates up to five times per day.

The Dublin senator said she believes the “pester power” of these vans are adding to the issue of child obesity.” https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/politics/senator-warns-of-dangers-of-ice-cream-truck-chimes-30346656.html

Guns don’t kill people

People Kill people”

Ice Cream Trucks don’t kill people

People kill people

And, in my blissful ignorance, I thought it rather silly that we can ban ice cream trucks but not assault rifles. Silly me. I used to support legislation on gun control based on facts like the following:

Costs of Gun Violence

Gun violence impacts society in many ways: medical costs, costs of the criminal justice system, security precautions such as metal detectors, and reductions in the quality of life because of fear of gun violence.
S. lifetime medical costs for gunshot injuries total an estimated $2.3 billion
S. taxpayers pay for almost half ($1.1 billion or 49%) of lifetime medical costs for gunshot injuries

https://heedinggodscall.org/content/pfctoolkit-10

More Americans have died from gunshots in the last 50 years than in all of the wars in American history.

Since 1968, more than 1.5 million Americans have died in gun-related incidents, according to data from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. By comparison, approximately 1.2 million service members have been killed in every war in U.S. history, according to estimates from the Department of Veterans Affairs and iCasualties.org , a website that maintains an ongoing database of casualties from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

“Guns don’t kill people

People Kill people”

https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/las-vegas-shooting/more-americans-killed-guns-1968-all-u-s-wars-combined-n807156

A stat from 2015: According the nonprofit project the Gun Violence Archive, there were 12,562 gun deaths in 2014 and 9,959 in 2015 thus far. That’s a grand total of 301,797 firearm-related deaths in the past decade, compared to 71 deaths from domestic acts of terrorism.

Now, if 301.797 people in the U.S. had died from mosquito bites, I can guarantee that the federal government would legislate a program to nuke every swamp in the U.S. But the best our government does now is to bow our collected heads and keep the victims in our thoughts and prayers. If ten of our soldiers are killed on foreign soil, we have congressmen vowing to nuke the country in retaliation. But if one American kills ten Americans, we simply shrug our shoulders and say, “There’s the second amendment, ya know.” I used to believe there was something irrational in there. No longer. My mind is straight now….like Luke’s in Cool Hand Luke.

Another example of wrong thinking on my part involves my belief in democracy. I read the following:

-“- In the wake of the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history, more Americans support tighter controls on guns. Six in 10 U.S. adults now support stricter laws covering the sale of firearms, up from 55% last year and the highest percentage since 2004.” http://news.gallup.com/poll/220595/support-stricter-gun-laws-edges.aspx?g_source=position5&g_medium=related&g_campaign=tiles

So, in my wrong thinking, I reasoned that since most Americans were in favor of gun control legislation, why don’t we have gun control legislation? That was until right thinking taught me about the power of money and corrupt politicians and the realities of pseudo-democracies. Our Republic does not bow to the will of the people—it bows to the will of the economically powerful. So much for eighth grade civics. Which leads me to my modest proposal:

If you can’t beat them, join them. Opponents of any form of gun control must envision the inevitable future where everyone is packing weapons of mass destruction, a future where all arguments, even disputations over minor things like bumping into someone in a crowded hallway is settled in a blaze of gunfire and death. As an educator, we must prepare our children for this future. So my proposal is to throw out reading and writing and arithmetic from the elementary school curriculum. Instead, teach the kindergarteners how to brace an M-16 against the shoulder to absorb the recoil, how to load a clip into an Uzi, and how to breakdown, strip clean, and reassemble an AK 47 assault rifle—while blindfolded. Bulldoze the outdoor recess areas and set up a rifle range.

In social studies teach the little ones the Stand Your Ground laws, so that if any one of them is offended by a classmate, say for “looking at me funny,” then he or she can resolve the issue with a quick draw. Since every student will be packing heat, bullies will have to think twice, or they will have to augment their arsenal which should stimulate an arms race in all schools in the nation thus providing an economic boon to gun manufacturers. Which is really what our lack of gun control is all about anyway. How can that be bad? Some people might argue that quite a few students might be victims of the almost daily shootouts, but there is an upside to that as well: Class size will diminish.

As for the victims and their families, we’ll do what we do now—and that is all we seem to do—-keep them in our thoughts and prayers. Some might argue that putting assault rifles in the hands of children is irresponsible. I would counter thusly: 1) it is not any more irresponsible than allowing people with histories of violence or severe mental illness or anger mismanagement. 2) Guns don’t kill people, people kill people and, therefore, it would be irresponsible to not educate our little people on how to blow away other little people.

After the church shooting in Texas, President Trump said, “Don’t forget, if it wasn’t for the citizen who carried a gun and shot the mass shooter, more people would have been killed.” During my wrong thinking days I would have wondered how much damage either the citizen or the mass shooter(mentally disturbed/recently unemployed/terrorist…how come all the mass shooters seem to be men? Don’t women get angry?) could have been done if neither had guns….how much death can second graders accomplish with only a spitball?

So what do you say to my modest proposal? Come on, parents. Put away those silly, non-functional stuffed animals and take your second grader to the nearest gun show to buy his/her first weapon of mass destruction. Be a proud American. The second amendment is intended to guarantee the rights of every American to inflict pain, suffering, mayhem, grief and death on every other American. Many of our soldiers and sailors and air force warriors have died to defend that right. Many more citizens have died because of that right. So what do you say, America? My proposal is no worse than the reality you have fashioned. We are already killing our children by our drive to make a profit at all costs, by our smugness in not learning how other naitons deal with the problem, and by our stubborn adherence to a post-colonial 1791 concern. IF you support my modest proposal, contact your legislator…or just sit and think and pray.